So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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