Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize