that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
