Can i not drive my cunt home
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
