I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
