so explain again why im purple
no
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
