Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
one two three fourrrrnication!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
