Yo dont text me then not text me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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