Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize