can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
