the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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