i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
