You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
