he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
