How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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