I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
