That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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