How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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