Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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