so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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