ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
