What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
