i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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