I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
