We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
