I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
