Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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