what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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