OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
