she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You made out with two different species that night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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