I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
