i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
