do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
