Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
