I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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