he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
