He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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