he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
