chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't deserve a penis
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
