You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
