Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
