when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Congratulations! We have a period
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
