he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
