so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
