I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
