I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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