This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
A bitchslap is in order.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
