East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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