just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
