Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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