I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
