im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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