Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just want nice things and good sex
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
