So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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