I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize