Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
