wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
