sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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