sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
