I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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