I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
