So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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