it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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