If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
