The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
