i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
