She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your penis caused this!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
