he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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