Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize