So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
